Got a difficult conversation coming up?
Before saying what they’ve done wrong, why you disagree or what they should do differently…
Explain where you think they’re coming from.
Reiterate their point of view, what they might be feeling and why they’re behaving this way. Go into as much detail as you can.
And once you’ve shown oodles of empathy, state the message you want to state.
They may not like your message. But at least they’ll feel like you get where they’re coming from.
No one remembers what you say, but they do remember how you make them feel (according to Maya Angelou).
So please, lead with empathy. Good things often follow.
